A Quiver Full of BOYS

I live in a house full of boys.  I married a boy and now I have 3 sons.  I am surrounded by boys all day…every day.  Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it’s nice to be the only female in the house because it means that I am the queen of the house, but it also means that I am surrounded by boy stuff all…the…time.  I can’t seem to keep anything nice and pretty around here.  I can’t tell you how many holes Luke has made in my pretty chenille throw blanket and I’m not sure why but my boys LOVE to throw my pretty couch throw pillows on the floor and then step and jump all over them.  Those pretty pillows aren’t so pretty anymore - the stuffing inside of them is all messed up, there are snags in the fabric from Luke pulling at the fabric and most of them are lopsided now from the pillow fights and wrestling matches.  And that’s just the throw pillows.  Let’s talk about my carpet and walls for a minute.  Want to know how often I am scrubbing my carpets and wiping down my walls to get all of the juice stains, strawberry stains or milk and yogurt splatter off of them?  Yeah, you’re right…you don’t want to know…and honestly, I’m too tired to tell you anyway.  

I feel like I live in a constant state of exhaustion.  I’m exhausted because I spend my days trying to keep Luke from:  cleaning all the toilets with the toilet brush, eating 27 suckers throughout the day, getting into my jewelry and spreading it all over the house (I still can’t find the match to 2 different earring sets), getting into my purse to pull out my wallet where he will scatter my money and credit/debit cards all over the house, getting into my makeup to write on my walls with lipstick, getting into the movie drawer where he will pull all of the movies out and put his peanut butter fingers all over the back of them, getting into my bathroom where he opened my ONLY bottle of Christian Dior j’adore perfume and spilled it all over the carpet….and the list just goes on and on and on.

I seem to have an overwhelming amount of patience where Austin is concerned for which I am grateful, however that sweet child exhausts me too.  I’m not sure why but that boy INSISTS on my bed being unmade with the covers completely pushed to the end of the bed and all the pillows on the floor.  I have made my bed upwards of 8 times in one day because he kept messing it up.  I just gave up.  From that point on, if Austin is home all day I either don’t make my bed or I just keep my bedroom door locked so he can’t get in there.  When the door is locked you should see him standing on a chair trying to reach the key to unlock my bedroom door…it’s entertaining to say the least.  He also desperately wants to play with my iPhone, so much so that he types in random numbers trying to figure out my password to unlock my phone. During his quest to figure out my password he always ends up disabling my phone so that I have to wait for it to be active again before I can use it (sigh).  He also changes the language on our answering machine (his favorite is French) and he deletes some of the messages at random.  And when no one is looking he gets into my hot pink nail polish and proceeds to paint his nails all the while staining my carpet and couch with that lovely shade of hot pink polish.  And I won’t even go into the time that he deleted all the pictures off of my computer.  I was able to restore almost all of the folders from the trash bin on my computer but the picture folder labeled “Baby Luke Allen Parker” is still nowhere to be found (insert sad face here).

For the most part Michael (my oldest) is a help to me…most of the time. But the times that he isn’t a help, the times he just exacerbates the problem, is the point in time that I want to run away screaming.  I’m sure it’s just Michael’s age since he is a teenager now, but sometimes that mouth of his (he has a smart mouth, he talks loud, he never STOPS talking, he sings loudly, etc) makes me want to pull my hair out.  Matter of fact, as I am typing this he is currently in the kitchen singing a made up song about Luke to the tune of  “Oh Christmas Tree.” And he isn’t singing it quietly either…he’s even got his foot stomping to keep the beat going.  It’s also time for Luke to go to bed and Michael is ready for his chance to watch one of his shows on the TV so he is anxiously waiting for Luke to head upstairs.  So what does Michael do?  He just walked up to Luke and said, “Would you like to be the next contestant on ‘Go To The Crib?’ “  - which prompts Luke to start crying, screaming “No bed!! No bed!!” thus exacerbating the bedtime process.  See?  That’s what I’m talking about….his mouth runs like that all day every day and while most of the time it can be funny it also can get all over my last nerve.  

I mentioned in one of my previous posts a day or two ago that all the drama I have going on should be illegal….well that is so true.  I have a teenager boy (if you have a teenage boy then you know all of the issues that come with that), I have an 11 year old boy with autism (which means I am constantly on edge because I have to live in a heightened sense of awareness so that I can anticipate his needs and do everything I can to keep him safe) and I have a 2-1/2 year old boy (who is constantly into everything, has never met a stranger and loves to scream at the top of his lungs when he doesn’t get his way).  If you think that seems a bit excessive, well then you would be correct.  It’s a whole lot of crazy wrapped up into one little family.  I do love my boys (with all of my heart actually) and I try so very hard to be a good Mom to them but after the day that I had today, and well let’s be honest after the month that I’ve had, I’m ready for a break.  I need some time to relax, gather my thoughts and spend some time just being a girl.  But since that won’t be happening tonight, I’ll just have to settle for a long, hot bubble bath as I listen to some music.  Maybe that will help me escape my current reality for a little bit of “me time”...or at least one can only hope that it will….